Wednesday, 19 January 2011

What makes a 'True Lolita'?

WARNING: Might raise some unpopular opinions, and I apologize for that, but please respect that this is simply my opinion and you do not have to agree. Thank you.

Something that came up recently in a topic was a mention of lolita going maisntream, and the horrors what would entail. It made me think, and eventually wonder, why are other lolitas into lolita?
Personally, it's just my style. I like the way it looks on me, and I like the way I feel wearing it the way I do.
If Lolita were to 'become mainstream', sure there would be a lot more branches of the style cropping up. Cheaper clothes, highstreet Lolita.

Even things that we wouldn't consider Lolita right now, would become part of the fashion, even things you don't like. But that wouldn't mean that the Lolita you know and love would be gone. That wouldn't stop you from wearing the fashion the way you want to wear it. Would it?
A lot of Lolitas seem to consider mainstream a Bad Thing, or as if it would 'taint' them.
Newsflash girls, if you're only into something to make yourself stand out, it's probably not what you really want is it?
To me, a 'true lolita' is someone who loves the fashion, feels good in it, and wears it comfortably by choice. Wearing, or in fact doing anything to seperate yourself, or for someone elses aproval, is in fact the definition of being a poser.

I remember back in high school, when there weren't many goths in my school. In fact, there were two of us. And the 'emo' phase hit.
Suddenly, eyeliner, wearing black, stripes and dyed hair and all that stuff was popular.
My friend said to me "At this rate, we'll have to change fashions just to stay in the minority!"
My mind boggled a little bit. I wasn't trying to be 'be the minority' or be seperate or stand out or any of that... I just liked how my fashion looked.
It seemed like a dream come true to be able to go to any random highstreet shop and find something I'd actually like to wear. But it opened my eyes to the fact that a lot of people, if not most people, are more interested inother peoples opinions of them, than their own opinion of themselves.

Being yourself does not mean being as seperate from everyone else as possible, it means being YOURSELF. Regardless of if what you want is 'mainstream' or not.

Fashion evolves and changes. Our Lolita is going to change, and things that are not currently considered lolita, will become a part of the fashion. Do you remember just a year or two ago when people would ask on the comms "is it okay to wear a wig with lolita?".
Now, thats pretty much expected.
Or 4-5 years ago, when it was asked "are polka dots really lolita?".
What about when you were just not considered lolita is your skirt was above knee-length? Or you didn't have a proper headdress?

You don't have to wear a wig. You don't have to wear polkadots.
You're don't have to reject wigs as a matter of principle, and if you choose not to wear polka dots it doesn't make you more or less of a lolita.
What makes you A Lolita, if you are one, is the same as what makes you You - doing what you want, to express yourself.

I have faith that most lolitas are True Lolitas. Why else would we go to so much effort and spend so much time and money on the things that we do? We all know it takes a genuine love for a hobby to dedicate so much to it.

Lolita is a fashion, not a uniform. Lets Enjoy it :)


  1. THIS.

    Though I clearly don't wear lolita, (being a man) similar discussions come up all the time in Steampunk circles. I have nothing against mainstream. In fact, I love it. If everyone was wearing fashions I love, I would be overjoyed walking down the street.

  2. I certainly share your opinion of what real lolita is. I got into it because I like it! If I just wanted to be apart from everyone else I'd gauge my nipples and grow my body hair to unreasonable lengths.

    Why would it be a bad thing if lolita went mainstream? Like any other clothing, one wears what they like and doesn't wear what one doesn't like.

    Thank you for writing this. ^^

  3. Oh man, I remember that emo stuff. I didn't mind goth fashion hitting the mainstream but what really pissed me off was all the newbies who jumped in on the style started looking down at me for doing it wrong.
    I was baffled, very baffled.

    I agree with the Steampunk stuff too - ffs its people pretending to live in Jules Verne world. We're having fun :D the more people who come join in the merrier

  4. I love this post! I must agree, wholeheartedly. I know when I was younger and in middle school/early high school I dressed fairly gothic-y and did have a phase where I thought I just needed to be different. But as time went on I realized it was just about doing what I enjoy, what looks good to me, what feels right!

  5. I just discovered your blog, and I love it. I love it I love it I LOVE IT!! You make such an excellent point in this post and you have no idea how happy it makes me feel to know there are more with the same thoughts as me out there! Thank you for writing this, and I will follow you from now on.

  6. Well, a lot of times with alternative fashion this is how it goes:
    as you get older and leave the shelter of elementery school, you are greeted with a cold and abrasive world. You can't seem to get into the things that everyone else is getting into, and you feel like if you just tried to do what everyone else was doing you wouldn't measure up and would always feel like you were being one-upped. You dislike and/or are picked on by the majority of your peers, and you wish to look as "not like them" as possible. So, you find your niche, whether it be Goth, Emo, Punk, or Lolita. wearing clothes that are different than everyone else's for the sake of looking different has never struck me as something bad. In my opinion, I like the way it screens the closeminded people from the openminded people. If you wear a figurative sign that says "I'm not like THOSE people," then others who feel the same way will be attracted to you.

    Lastly, it may very be the very "essence" of me to wear Goth clothes. I may be enamored with all things "goth" and love everything about it. However, if people I absolutely hate start wearing bastardized versions of it and touting it around like they made it up, you can be sure as hell that I'm going to be angry about it. Maybe this seems immature, but I'm sure it's the way a lot of people feel.

  7. Harry, Winsome, Nomi, Bhevarri:
    I'm so glad we all agree :)

    Sammy: Thank you very much for following!

    Jacqueline: That is as may be, but delibarately changing yourself to be the same or seperate are equally 'fake', is what I am saying. Regardless of the reason for doing so.
    It's something a everyone goes through, before they discover what they really want for themselves. But it is still so.
    And being hostile towards other people for doing domething or dressing in a way you don't like is something we all need to grow out of (even if you think they're wrong).
    Do you see what I mean? :)

  8. I don't know how I feel reading your post. I personally already find lolita mainstream. It broke the wall into "mainstream" when the gates from japan opened and the style hit other parts of the globe.
    I'm new to the style, and I know there are a lot of people who love it and the fact they are so passionate about it--I've never gotten the sense that it wasn't in some way mainstream already and people having fun with the way they express lolita is common with all styles of clothing.

  9. I agree whole heartedly.
    I generally just buy or make and wear clothes that I love and always have done, regardless of weather the clothes in question are seen as being "mainstream" or not. I don't wear the clothes I do so that I can fit in, but neither do I wear them in order to stand out.

    At the end of the day, clothes are just clothes anyway.. why should it matter what people wear? It's not like it effects anyone else. It would be a bit hypocritical for one to say they have the right to wear what they like, while also criticizing others for wearing what they want to wear, and that goes for everyone.. weather they wear mainstream clothes or alternative fashion.

  10. I randomly came across your blog post a few moments ago. You do bring up some good points about the style.

    I look at this post and think about how I really don't want to see the fashion fall apart if lolita should go mainstream. I am convinced girls will wear slutty dresses and call that lolita. Or they'll wear lacey disasters and call that lolita. Or they'll completely disregard the ideals behind it, like acting like a lady no matter what you wear, or if you're a lifestyler, seeing the world in a more genteel way, ascribing victorian aesthetics to everyday life, looking at events as fairytales or adventures... etc.
    I'm very afraid that mainstream companies, designers and regular people will cheapen and disrespect what we've come to cherish, be proud of, and work hard in.

    I'm afraid that if it goes mainstream, lolita will become something it was never supposed to be, like looking like a lace covered sex child to attract older men (lolita complex), or cheap poorly made dresses and materials sold for $15 at walmart. Or, being bitchy or something. (Lolita is not about being bitchy, or shouldn't be.)

    Looking at the way fashion trends explode makes me believe we do have some worries about if lolita goes mainstream. For example, a regular girl having a shirt that says words on the breast part like 99% angel and 1% devil or some variation. that has cheapened and sexualized the original meanings and images of the words. They've done nice things with victorian blouses and shoes, for example. they've made them trendy, stylish, sleek and modern, and some of them can even fit into a lolita wardrobe.

    I would love to see more lolitas and aristocrats running around. I would love to see western lolita clothes in western sizes and with western themes such as european or american folktales. If they were to do it right.

    Lolita is a very narrow fashion. It has to change slowly. Asking if wigs, stripes, polka dots and 'X' kind of makeup are correct to wear are examples of slow changes that happen naturally in fashion. Wearing short lacy skirts and caked on makeup and drawn on eyebrows and calling that lolita... is an unnatural change and is an example of something that is not acceptable now, wasn't acceptable 5 years ago, and probably won't ever be considered part of the Lolita fashion.


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